


I Will Do Anything

by Lokiismylife27



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Awesome Frigga (Marvel), BAMF Women, Gen, Greek gods, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Loki wasn't the bad guy in Avengers, Odin is a dick, Thor and Zeus hate each other, Thor is learning, To Eris anyways, Tony is an abused kitten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 20:14:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15127025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lokiismylife27/pseuds/Lokiismylife27
Summary: Loki breaks the mind control on his own, then calls in the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Eris, to help him repair the damage. And then Tony gets new housemates. Title has very little to do with the story.





	I Will Do Anything

Loki was fighting the mind control when he heard a child scream. The mind control snapped completely.

Loki had always loved children, even after Odin killed all of his. He would do anything to protect children, no matter how crazy or suicidal. When he heard the child scream in the middle of battling the mind control, it gave him the angry strength to finally break free. He teleported to the sound, and obliterated the Chitauri attacking the little girl and her mother, then sent them both to the nearest hospital. Then he took the scepter, and teleported to the roof of Stark Tower. Forestalling Natasha, he cast a spell that would stop her from moving, freezing her in place while he went to the computer Selvig had been using. He had managed to hide Selvig’s backdoor from his captors, and he typed in the commands necessary, then was about to close the portal when he noticed some kind of missile heading their way. “Sorry about this,” he told Natasha, and took her earpiece before saying in her voice, “Does anyone copy? I can close the portal.”

“Do it!” Rogers said.

“No, wait,” Tony said.

“Stark, these things are still coming!” Rogers shouted.

“I’ve got a nuke coming in, it’s gonna blow in less than a minute,” Stark said. “And I know just where to put it.”

“Stark, you know that’s a one-way trip,” Rogers said.

There was no response, and Loki looked over as he felt Stark getting closer. He watched as Stark flew the missile into the portal, and waited, his breath catching, for Stark to reappear. Then he felt the destruction of the Chitauri mothership, and sighed mentally. He became worried when Stark didn’t reappear, and sighed before snapping his fingers. Stark crash-landed on the roof, and Loki closed the portal.

Then he noticed Stark wasn’t moving, and the circle in his chest plate was dark. Loki sighed and used his magic to restart the device; they were similar enough energy sources for it to work. That done, Loki set Natasha free, and handed her back her communication device absently while digging a communication mirror out of his subspace. He tapped it in a pattern, and a woman’s face came up as Natasha went to see if Stark was alright.

“Loki?” the woman asked. “What the hell happened to you?”

“I don’t have time to explain right now, Eris; I’m calling in that favor,” Loki said. “I need you to come to my location immediately; I need help overpowering that building-repairing spell.”

“You WILL be explaining this later,” Eris said, and her face vanished from the mirror. Fifteen seconds later, she appeared next to him, looked around at the destruction, and said dryly, “I see why you called me. How far out does the destruction go?”

“About 1.5 miles,” Tony said.

“Doable, then, thanks,” Eris said. She grabbed Loki and teleported down to the street. They both went down on one knee in an area that was relatively free of debris, and Loki said, “On three.”

They counted down to three, then slammed their palms onto the ground in unison, shoving their magic into the ground as they overpowered the spell to repair everything.

Elsewhere, the Avengers sans Natasha and Tony stared in shock as all the destruction began to repair itself. Buildings rebuilt themselves, shattered glass reformed into windows- even the roads repaired themselves.

As the Avengers reached the tower, they found Loki and an unknown woman on the sidewalk, both wreathed in power. “Thor, any idea what that’s about?” Steve asked quietly. He was half-carrying Bruce.

“They are overpowering a simple spell to repair buildings,” Thor said, managing to keep his voice down. “Do not disturb them, it would be catastrophic with how much power they are using.”

“Who’s the woman?” Clint asked warily.

“Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos,” Thor replied, then grumbled, “Why did it have to be a Greek?”

Before Steve or Clint (Bruce was completely out of it by this point) could respond, Loki and Eris ended the spell. Loki sat down, hard, and Eris looked at him in concern. The others came over cautiously just in time to hear her say, “Loki, armor off.”

Loki sighed, and his armor and helmet disappeared, leaving him in leather pants and a loose green shirt. Thor cautiously approached them, and Eris glared at him. “Care to explain this?” she asked, pulling Loki into her arms protectively. He nearly collapsed on her, and she shifted her grip so he was lying in her lap.

“Loki attacked Midgard for some reason?” Thor suggested.

“Loki would never do that of his own free will- try again,” Eris said flatly.

“I have reason to believe that due to his repairing what the Chitauri broke, he may have been under their control,” Thor grumbled.

“And you didn’t notice this before things got this bad?” Eris asked tartly. “You’re screwed, I hope you realize.”

Thor winced. Clint just looked skeptical, and asked, “Are you sure he was under mind control?”

“Yes,” Eris said. “Loki would never attack Midgard of his own free will. Do I even want to know what ridiculous story Thor came up with for why Loki was attacking?”

“Revenge on him, apparently,” Steve said.

“Ugh,” Eris said. “Thor, you’re a disgrace to Asgard. I assume that your new friends are going to want to question Loki?”

“Most likely,” Thor said. “I have orders to return Loki and the Tesseract to Asgard.”

“You may return the Tesseract, but if you take Loki anywhere near Odin, I will chop your balls off and feed them to you in hot sauce,” Eris said grimly.

“Right. I will not take Loki to Asgard,” Thor said immediately, shuddering.

“I think you’d get along well with Natasha,” Clint told Eris.

“The redhead on the roof? Maybe,” Eris said. “I’m taking Loki inside. You people can come in at your leisure.” She vanished, and Thor sighed. “I am doomed,” he muttered.

“Is Eris a threat?” Steve asked as they went into Stark Tower.

“Not to humanity,” Thor replied. “Occasionally she’ll start pranking mortals, but that’s about it. My people are the ones who need to watch their step around her; she hates us, and especially hates Odin for abusing Loki. I would recommend not getting on her bad side, however. It tends to lead to unpleasant and often humiliating situations- like waking up tied to a flagpole while naked.”

“Duly noted,” Steve said.

Meanwhile, Eris had teleported to the penthouse, where she found Tony, Natasha, and Selvig waiting. “What happened to Loki?” Natasha asked, eyeing her.

“He’s exhausted; do you have anywhere I can put him so I can call a friend to come look at him?” Eris asked.

“Uh, there’s a medical ward here,” Tony said. “I’ll show you.”

Eris nodded and followed him into the elevator. “So… Greek Gods are real too?” Tony asked.

“Most of your mythology is real; pray you don’t ever meet the Aztec pantheon though,” Eris deadpanned. “They’re very unhinged. And bloodthirsty.”

“Duly noted; what about the Egyptians?” Tony asked, curious.

“If you don’t mind that they all have animal heads and human bodies, they’re actually rather interesting to talk to,” Eris said.

They got out of the elevator, and Eris put Loki down on one of the beds in the medical ward before pulling out a StarkPhone. Tony was somewhat surprised, and Eris smirked. “Unlike the Assgardians, we keep up with the times on Midgard,” she said. She dialed a number, and Tony watched as she said, “Hey Asclepius. I need you to teleport to my location ASAP; Loki collapsed and I’m pretty sure he’s injured and hiding it. Yes, there was an alien invasion, no, it wasn’t Loki’s fault, he was under mind control. Oh good; I need to call Zeus, so I’ll see you soon.”

She ended the call, and dialed another number. “Hey Zeus, you know how you owe me a favor from that incident last decade? Yeah, I’m calling it in. I want you to claim Loki as one of us, and grant him immortality. Actually, Thor’s currently on Earth, so if you go to Asgard now, you can avoid the jerk altogether. No, I don’t owe you, though I would be willing to hide you from Hera next time you do something to piss her off. Please, she gets in a snit all the time- there’s a reason we can’t stand each other. Okay, good. Please let me know when you’ve convinced Odin to give Loki up. Yup, thanks Zeus. See ya.” She ended the call, and Tony yelped as a blond man appeared in the room. “Hi Asclepius,” Eris said, completely unconcerned.

“Out, I need to concentrate,” Asclepius said brusquely.

Eris saluted and dragged Tony out. “What’s with him?” Tony asked as they went back up to the penthouse.

“That’s his healer mode- it means he’s focused on healing someone and therefore not going to bother with manners for anyone other than his patient,” Eris explained.

They got out of the elevator, and found the others, plus Fury, waiting. “How is my brother?” Thor asked.

“Not sure yet, Asclepius kicked us out,” Eris said. “Oh, and you’re staying here for a bit; Zeus is currently on his way to Asgard to inform your rat bastard of a father that he’s claiming Loki and will not take no for an answer.”

“Wonderful,” Thor said sourly.

“Miss, can you explain who you are and why you’re here?” Fury asked grouchily.

“Thor didn’t explain?” Eris asked. “Pity, I’ll have to reeducate him. I’m Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos, and Loki called me in so I could help him repair the mess the Chitauri made.”

“Don’t you mean the mess he made?” Fury asked.

Eris’s eyes went cold, and Thor quietly snuck out as the humans felt a pressure in the air. “No, that is not what I meant,” Eris said. “Loki was under mind control, and therefore should not face punishment for actions beyond his control- especially since he just fixed the part of the city that was destroyed. Nor will I allow you to use him the way Odin does- he is not a tool, and I know your type. You see people as tools, there to be used and then discarded when they fail to work as you expected. Loki is his own person, as am I, and we will not be controlled by the likes of YOU.”

Tony grinned. “I like you,” he told Eris.

Eris ruffled his hair, smiling. Fury grumbled, “Do you live on Earth?”

“Yes,” Eris said. “Let me guess, you want me to move in with Tony and keep Loki with me, right? Did you even ask Tony if he was okay with that? It’s his home, not yours.”

The other Avengers seemed startled, but Fury said, “That was the idea, yes.”

“I don’t have a problem living here if Tony is okay with it, and I’m sure Loki won’t either,” Eris said. “However, judging by the expressions of the other members of this team, I don’t think they have any common decency and therefore should not be allowed to mooch off Tony’s generosity.”

“What about Bruce?” Tony asked.

“He might be a good influence; you, me, and Loki will probably given everyone else migraines, but he seems like a sensible guy,” Eris said thoughtfully. “If it turns out he’s like the rest of these people, though, I will have no compunctions about kicking him out. You deserve people who will see you for something other than your money or your tech.”

Tony actually looked touched. “Thanks,” he said.

“I was hoping to keep the team together,” Fury said grouchily.

Eris gently probed Steve’s mind, then Natasha’s, and finally Clint’s before saying, “Rogers and Romanov think Tony is beneath them, and therefore having to live with him is a disaster waiting to happen. In fact, the only person here with a positive opinion of Tony is Barton. Haven’t you ever had a roommate or housemate, Fury?”

Fury sighed. “Fine. Rogers already has an apartment and Agents Barton and Romanov still work for SHIELD anyways,” he said. “What about Thor?”

“I made a space for when he’s on Earth; I figured that SHIELD would be unlikely to want to deal with him living there,” Tony admitted. “I’m willing to open a space for team training, but I agree with Eris. Living with people who think I’m beneath them is a disaster waiting to happen.”

Fury glowered, but acquiesced. “Where did Thor go?” he asked.

“He snuck out when you pissed me off; I guess he has some brains after all,” Eris mused. She snapped her fingers, and Thor appeared in the room. “I was just looking for food…” he sulked.

“I’m pretty hungry too, actually,” Eris said. “Hey Tony, what do you recommend for pizza around here?”

“There’s a good place a few blocks away, and they’re used to me; I’ll call in an order,” Tony said. “Anyone else staying?”

“I’d like to,” Clint said.

“I’ll take these two back,” Fury said. “Barton, I’ll leave your living arrangements up to you, but you’re welcome back at SHIELD.”

“Thank you, sir,” Clint said. “I’ll think about it.”

Fury nodded and ushered Natasha and Steve out. Tony sighed and asked, “Who wants what?”

“Anything with lots of meat would be fine for me, Thor, and Loki,” Eris said. “Asclepius is vegetarian though.”

“Bruce likes veggie pizza, I’ll get some,” Tony said. “Barton, do you like chicken pesto?”

“Yeah,” Clint said.

“Okay, I’ll get some of that too,” Tony said. “Eris, how many meat lover’s pizzas should I get?”

Eris thought, then said, “Six party-size should do it; Thor has a huge appetite, and Loki and I turn into bottomless pits after using the amount of magic we did today. Asclepius will probably eat a party-size veggie pizza on his own.”

“Got it,” Tony said. “JARVIS, can you order that for us, along with five orders of garlic knots?”

“Certainly, Sir,” JARVIS said. There was a pause, and then JARVIS said, “I took the liberty of ordering a few liters of soda as well, as you currently have nothing but alcohol and coffee in the house.”

“Thanks J,” Tony said, grinning. Looking at the others, he said, “JARVIS is my AI.”

“That’s amazing,” Clint said. “Uh… has anyone heard from Coulson?”

Tony winced a bit. “Fury said Loki killed him,” he said.

“Did you actually see a body?” Eris asked.

“No; Fury just threw his bloody cards on the table and told us Coulson died hoping we’d become a team,” Tony said.

“How the hell did Coulson’s cards get bloody?” Clint asked incredulously. “He’d never take them with him if there was even a remote chance they’d get ruined.”

“Fury probably stole them and dipped them in blood,” Eris said. “Which could mean that Coulson is alive, but injured. I’ll find out; what’s his first name?”

“Phil,” Clint supplied.

Eris took a mirror out, breathed on it, and said, “Show me Phil Coulson.”

The mirror cleared to show Coulson in a hospital bed, hooked up to a lot of machines, and Eris said, “Yeah, he’s alive. Might have to send Asclepius over there, but he’s definitely not dead.”

“I’m gonna murder Fury,” Tony grumbled. “That was a dick move.”

The others were grimly silent, and then JARVIS said, “Sir, Ms. Potts is on the line.”

“Put her through,” Tony said. A screen popped up in front of him, and Pepper’s face came up. “Hi Pep…” Tony said cautiously.

“Tony! Oh my god, are you okay?” Pepper asked frantically. “I was watching the news when you called and my phone was too far away for me to hear it and you flew a NUKE into the portal… and then I never saw you come out!”

“Pep, slow down,” Tony said. “I’m fine, some bruises and scrapes but nothing too serious. Loki saved me; I was falling, and then he apparently teleported me to the roof of the tower.”

“Wasn’t Loki the one you were fighting?” Pepper asked, calming down slightly.

“He was under mind control, and broke it somehow,” Tony said. “And he and his friend Eris repaired everything as far as I can tell.”

“I saw that; everything just rebuilt itself,” Pepper said. “That was amazing.”

“Loki and Eris are going to be living here, by the way,” Tony said. “And I’m going to ask Bruce if he wants to as well. Might be taking in one more, and as you know I made an apartment for Thor, but I’ll let Agent Barton decide whether or not he wants to stay.”

Pepper sighed fondly. “Well, at least you’ll have people around,” she said. “Where are your new friends?”

“Eris, Thor, and Barton are here; Bruce is sleeping, and Loki is in the medical ward with Eris’s friend Asclepius; apparently Asclepius is a healer and judging by the fact he’s not back yet, I’m guessing Loki’s in bad shape,” Tony admitted. “When will you be back?”

“Around seven tonight,” Pepper said. “I’m glad you’re okay, Tony. Don’t get into trouble at least until I get back.”

“You wound me, Ms. Potts,” Tony said overdramatically.

Pepper smiled serenely. “Will that be all, Mr. Stark?” she asked.

“That will be all, Ms. Potts,” Tony said, smiling back. They ended the call, and Eris smiled. “She seems like she’s good for you,” she said.

“Yeah,” Tony said happily. “You’ll probably get along great- you’re both awesomely terrifying.”

Eris grinned and ruffled his hair. Tony grumbled a bit, but anyone could tell he wasn’t annoyed. “Sir, the pizza has arrived,” JARVIS announced.

“Send it up, J,” Tony said, digging a hundred-dollar bill out of his pocket.

The pizza was brought up by two guys, who looked somewhat starstruck. Thor and Eris took the food and soda to the kitchen, and Tony handed each of the guys a hundred-dollar bill. “Thanks,” he told them after signing the receipt.

“Sure Mr. Stark,” they said, almost in unison, looking awed. They left, and Tony went to the kitchen to eat with the others.

Asclepius appeared in the room as they dug in, and collapsed into a chair, looking exhausted. Tony handed him the party-size box of veggie pizza, and he said, “Thanks,” before attacking it.

Tony and Clint were stunned as he ate the entire box, and Eris giggled. “I told you,” she said. “Using a lot of magic turns us into bottomless pits.”

“How is Loki?” Tony asked, shaking off the shock.

“For the most part he’s healed, and I did what I could for his mind,” Asclepius said tiredly. “He’s suffering from malnourishment and dehydration, so I put him on an IV and then put him to sleep for the next twenty-four hours.”

“It was bad, then?” Eris asked.

“He was tortured, extensively and for well over six months,” Asclepius said grimly. “Frankly it’s a miracle he was even alive when he reached Earth. He was also under the control of the Mind Stone for at least a month before he came to Earth.”

“Who captured him?” Thor asked, his voice hard.

“Thanos, the Mad Titan,” Asclepius said. Thor went dead white, and Asclepius continued, “Apparently he’s decided that Midgard will be his next conquest. It’s unlikely he’ll give up, either.” He looked at Tony and Clint, and said, “Thanos is probably the most evil being in the universe, and completely insane. He is in love with Mistress Death, and seeks to gain her favor by sending her ‘presents’- i.e. dead people. He fails to realize he’s throwing off the balance of the universe in doing so. Last time he ran amok, the Nine Realms save this one were forced to stand united to defeat him. He’s practically invincible, and immortal on top of it. He survived being thrown into the Void, and has been biding his time for centuries. The Chitauri, his army, is the biggest army in the universe, though they are little more than mindless drones connected to a hive mind. The group that came through here was a mere fraction of the total army, which is why they all died when their mothership was blown up- Thanos didn’t want them to impart any information they may have had on his plans. Nice work with the nuke, by the way, Stark.”

“Thanks,” Tony said. “I saw the rest of the army sent when I went through the portal; I assume they’ll be back at some point?”

“Yes; I don’t know how long, but I would guess less than ten years,” Asclepius said. “Loki’s memories indicate that Odin was well aware of what was happening to him, and refused to intervene.”

“Thor, your dad’s a dick,” Clint announced.

“I am beginning to agree with you,” Thor muttered. “He most likely wanted the Tesseract back, and used Loki’s invasion to get your people to agree to it.”

“We should get the scepter off-world too,” Eris said. “It contains the Mind Stone, which is equally dangerous. And from what I could tell, it’s close to being awakened. If your people made one wrong move with it… it could obliterate the planet.”

“Fury won’t give it up without a fight,” Clint said grimly.

“I’ll just steal it,” Eris said. “Then Thor can take it back to Asgard, and they can deal with the fallout should something happen.”

“That is probably for the best,” Thor admitted. “You said Zeus went to Asgard, though, yes?”

“Yeah, I hope everything’s going well,” Eris said.

**~XXXX~**

Odin looked up as there was a crack of thunder, and nearly groaned. What did ZEUS want?

Frigga joined him, looking amused, and he asked, “Do I want to know?”

“Most likely not,” Frigga replied. “I hear we have a visitor.”

“Mmph,” Odin groused, as Zeus came in, looking like someone on a mission. “Lord Zeus,” Odin said, standing. “What brings you here?”

“King Odin,” Zeus said, inclining his head barely enough to be considered respectful. Yet another reason Odin hated him. “I have come to inform you that I, and my brethren, are claiming Loki Odinson as one of our own.”

“WHAT!?” Odin bellowed.

Zeus’s solemn expression didn’t change as he said, “I did some research, Odin Borson. You knew he was being tortured by the most evil being in this part of the universe, and did NOTHING- besides order your creepy Gatekeeper not to tell anyone. You sent Thor to Earth with lies about Loki attacking the planet for revenge on him, and ordered him to bring Loki back in chains. Loki had to break the mind control HIMSELF because you wanted your Infinity Stone back badly enough to use him as your scapegoat. Since I’m sure he’s had more than enough torture at your hands and at Thanos’s, I am claiming him, and if I have to invoke the Old Magicks to prove my point, I will."  
  


“Why, exactly, are you so interested in Loki?” Odin asked warily.

“Technically I’m not- Eris is, and I owe her a favor,” Zeus said. “But your treatment of him is barbaric, and I’m not as evil as you are. The boy’s suffered enough, so I’m claiming him, and he can have real friends and family, without worrying about what will happen if he makes the slightest mistake. You killed his children over a mistake- honestly the only person I know of who’s more evil than you is Thanos. Who, by the way, is responsible for Loki’s attack on Earth. You can keep the Infinity Stones, Borson, but you will never see Loki again.”

Odin growled and, as usual when he was angry, said the wrong thing- at least for his continued existence. “Fine! Take the brat, he’s useless to me anyways,” he snarled. “But inform him that I’m stripping him of his name and everything it pertains here.”

Zeus smirked triumphantly. “I’ll do so,” he said. “Enjoy life on the couch.”

Odin had no clue what he was talking about- until he looked at Frigga, who was giving him a look that promised excruciating pain and life on the couch. Then she walked down the steps, and said to Zeus, “Lord Zeus, allow me to walk you out.”

“Much appreciated, Queen Frigga,” Zeus said, bowing and offering her his arm. She took it, and this time Odin really did groan as they left.

Once out of earshot of Odin, Frigga asked, “Do you know how Loki is doing?”

“I do not; Eris said when I spoke with her that Asclepius had kicked her out,” Zeus said. “I would be happy to update you via letter when I know more.”

“I would appreciate that,” Frigga said. “Please take good care of Loki; he has been through far too much in his life, and I was not there for him nearly as much as I should have been.”

“I will do so, though I got the distinct sense he will be living with Eris,” Zeus said. “And I know she will take good care of him. Now let us see if the universe can survive them.”

Frigga laughed lightly. “I look forward to it,” she said.

“Should you be interested, Eris is living on Earth now,” Zeus said. “Where, I am not sure, but I can ask and let you know.”

“Please do so,” Frigga said. “I know Loki is unlikely to want to see me, but I would like that option anyways.”

“Not a problem,” Zeus said. “Eris asked me to grant him true immortality as well.”

“Do you plan to do so?” Frigga asked.

“Yes, unless that is not something he wants,” Zeus said.

Frigga nodded, and Zeus kissed her hand before vanishing.

He reappeared in a kitchen, and blinked before seeing Eris. “Zeus, good to see you,” she said, standing. “How did it go in Asgard?”

“Odin is a dick,” Zeus grumbled. “I got him to hand over Loki, and he then informed me he was stripping Loki of his name.” He smirked a bit. “I believe he will be spending the rest of his life on the couch, if Queen Frigga’s expression was any indication,” he said, darkly amused.

Eris and two of the mortals cackled evilly. Asclepius was half-asleep, and Thor had left, apparently having finally learned that discretion is the better part of valor. “Who are your friends, Eris?” Zeus asked.

“This is Tony Stark, Clint Barton, and Bruce Banner,” Eris said, gesturing to each man as she said their name. “Apparently we’re all living here- except Asclepius, he’s just spending the night. Guys, this is Zeus, chief god of my pantheon. I probably owe him something for making him deal with Odin.”

“I’ll let it slide, since I got the fun of provoking him into making Frigga angry enough to banish him to the couch for the rest of his life,” Zeus said. “A pleasure to meet you.”

“You too,” Tony said. “Just out of curiosity, how much of the Greek mythology is true?”

“Most if not all- we actually interacted with the humans- and didn’t lie to them like Odin did,” Zeus said. “He told a large amount of lies to make himself look better, and vilify Loki. The idea that the pantheons are gods isn’t entirely inaccurate- we actually draw power from humanity’s belief and prayers. The Norse pantheon, though, is a bit odd. Aside from the Aesir, all the realms save this one are home to true immortals, like in my pantheon. However, the Aesir are not true immortals. They rely on Idunn’s golden apples to retain their youth, and eventually they do die. Their life expectancy on average far surpasses yours, at five thousand years, but true immortals live forever- and are much harder to kill. We can be killed, but it would take a lot. And in my pantheon, there are some who cannot be killed at all. The Titaness Mnemosyne is one such- she is the personification of memory, and you can’t kill an idea.”

“Huh,” Tony said, thoughtful. “Sorry we ate all the food before you got here, by the way.”

“Not a problem- as long as you didn’t drink all the alcohol too,” Zeus said. “Dealing with Odin requires alcohol afterwards.”

Tony perked up, and Eris gave him a stern look. “You’re not getting drunk,” she said. “Your liver is in terrible shape, I hope you realize.”

“How do you know that?” Tony asked, looking like a kicked puppy (to Eris).

“I did a scan when I got here, because your heart glowing is not normal,” Eris deadpanned. “By the way, after I set Asclepius on this Coulson person, I’m sending him after you. That much shrapnel in your chest is NOT healthy.”

Tony started sulking, and sulked over to the bar, saying, “Fine, I won’t get drunk. I’ll just watch Zeus get drunk.”

Eris smiled at him. “Good kitten,” she said, without any trace of condescension. Tony eyed her suspiciously as Zeus helped himself to some vodka. Eris shrugged and said, “You remind me of an abused kitten. And the hairstyle really doesn’t help that image.”

“I think I’ll go take a shower,” Tony said dryly. “I’m covered in grime anyways.”

“Have a nice shower,” Eris said.

Tony thanked her and left. “Can I get drunk?” Clint asked hopefully.

“I’m going back to sleep if there’s going to be drinking,” Bruce said flatly.

“Sweet dreams,” Eris said, smiling at him. Bruce smiled back a bit hesitantly, and left. “Hey JARVIS, where’s Thor?” Eris asked as Clint poured himself a glass of vodka and toasted Zeus.

“Mr. Odinson is sitting with Mr. Loki,” JARVIS replied. “Shall I inform him of the drinking?”

“No, definitely not,” Eris said. “He and Zeus hate each other, and it’s worse when they’re drunk. I JUST repaired this tower, I’m not in the mood to do it again.”

“Duly noted,” JARVIS said. “What do you plan on doing?”

“Is there a room on this floor? Like a guest room?” Eris asked. “Zeus isn’t paying attention and I can’t carry Asclepius for long.”

“I can walk,” Asclepius mumbled.

“Prove it,” Eris said.

Asclepius got up- and promptly fell flat on his face. Eris sighed exasperatedly, and swore JARVIS sounded amused as he said, “There is a guest room down the hall to your left, Ms. Eris.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” Eris said. She picked up Asclepius, and carried him to the guest room, then put him in the bed, taking off his shoes because he was already out cold. Shaking her head slightly, she left, turning off the light first.

When she got back, Tony was back, and he had apparently blow-dried his hair, because it looked REALLY FLUFFY. “Uh, Eris? Are you okay?” Tony asked cautiously.

“You’re so FLUFFY!” Eris said happily.

Tony groaned. “I’m not a kitten!” he moaned- just as Pepper came out of the elevator. “You’re not?” she asked dryly.

Tony stared at her in horror. “Not you too!” he moaned.

“What’s going on, anyways?” Pepper asked, curious.

“Eris thinks I’m an abused kitten, and now apparently I’m fluffy,” Tony groused.

“That’s actually pretty accurate,” Pepper commented. “You have this lost kitten vibe, and have you looked at your hair? It looks extremely fluffy, and I kind of want to play with it right now.”

“Mmph,” Tony said. “Anyways, this is Eris, your potential new best friend, and the guys drinking are Clint Barton- he’s a sniper from SHIELD- and Zeus.”

“...Oh,” Pepper said, a bit stunned. “Did you say there were others?”

“Asclepius is spending the night in your guest room because he passed out on the floor, Bruce Banner is sleeping as well, and Thor is sitting with Loki, who’s in the medical ward,” Eris said. “I’m going to join him, though, so you and Tony can get caught up. And before you ask, my only interest in him is platonic. I think he’d be a good friend, but I’m planning on seducing Loki, so Tony is all yours.”

“Okay,” Pepper said, smiling. “I assume it’s up to me too keep Zeus and Agent Barton from getting too rowdy?”

“That would be great,” Eris said. “I need to keep Thor out of here; he and Zeus drunk in the same room is always a disaster. They hate each other. That being said, if Zeus gets too out of hand, I can give you Hera’s number- she’s excellent at calming him down. However, she loathes me, so that’s a last resort.”

“I’ll handle it- but maybe give me the number as a backup?” Pepper suggested. “She doesn’t need to know you’re here.”

“Sure,” Eris said, and conjured up paper and a pen before jotting down the number and handing it to Pepper. “Good luck,” she said, and went to the elevator. It opened before she could say anything, and she smiled at the camera as she went in. “Thanks JARVIS; I didn’t want to startle Pepper by teleporting,” she said. “I’ve noticed vanishing into thin air seems to startle people.”

“It is not a common trait in humans,” JARVIS admitted. “That is very thoughtful of you.”

“I try- sometimes,” Eris said cheerfully. She got off on the medical ward floor, and went into Loki’s room quietly. Thor looked up, winced, and looked back down at Loki. Eris cast a spell that would insure Loki couldn’t hear anything, then settled down on his other side. “What was that?” Thor asked quietly.

“Silence bubble; he can’t hear us,” Eris said. “Zeus is still here; he might be spending the night, but I’m not sure. So you’re staying down here, got it?”

“I had not intended to leave,” Thor said softly. “How did his talk with my father go?”

“He got Odin angry, Odin stripped Loki of his name and status in Asgard- and now the old goat has life on the couch to look forward to,” Eris smirked. “Your mother was VERY displeased. I doubt she’ll ever let him back in what USED to be their bed.”

Thor smiled, a bit sadly. “I suppose he deserves it,” he said.

“He does,” Eris said flatly. “I’m certain he knew that Loki was being tortured and did nothing, content to watch someone he claimed to be his son suffer. He enjoys making Loki, and others, miserable, Thor. He is not a good man, no matter what Asgard thinks. And I have long suspected he uses his magic to lower the general intelligence level in Asgard. There’s simply no excuse for why Loki is so universally hated besides that Odin wants it that way.”

“Why did he even adopt him?” Thor asked wearily.

“I think that there’s a few possibilities,” Eris said. “It’s possible he wanted to raise Loki as a puppet king of Jotunheim, though considering how he raised him, that seems unlikely. He might have wanted a bargaining chip against Laufey, or possibly he just wanted a punching bag who he could train not to fight back. The most likely possibility, though, is that he took him so he could turn you into a hero by raising Loki to be the monster you would one day have to kill. Whatever the case, he ruined all his own plans. Zeus has commented that he thinks the only being who is more evil than Odin is Thanos. He’s not overly fond of you either, but he acknowledges that you aren’t nearly as evil as Odin is.”

“I did not think I was evil,” Thor said.

“You aren’t, though for future reference, that’s what Odin would say,” Eris said dryly. “You aren’t exactly a good person, but that might be fixable. Especially if you stop listening to your four sycophants in Asgard. Like Odin, they’re evil- especially Sif. I personally think that she might even have orders from Odin to turn you against Loki- which actually seems to have worked for the most part, given recent events. Your banishment helped a little in getting you to be less of a selfish, entitled asshole, but three days is not enough time to rewrite a lifetime of bad behavior and being spoiled rotten. Even for mortals, who have much shorter lifespans.”

Thor sighed. “Perhaps I should stay here,” he said. “For a while, at least. Odin will only continue corrupting me should I return, and I love Loki. I do not want to be forced or brainwashed into hating him.”

“That’s a very mature thing for you to realize,” Eris said. “And I agree. Spending time around Odin or your sycophants will inevitably lead to them trying to corrupt you against Loki, and likely the mortals as well. Possibly even your mother, if Odin gets too irritated about life on the couch.”

“How will I get the Tesseract and Mind Stone back, though?” Thor asked.

“I can send them there, but I believe it is better to insure that Asgard does not have a way to bring you back,” Eris said. “Therefore, I plan to send the Tesseract to Alfheim. If they choose to give it to Asgard, we will deal with the fallout then. I suppose we could always seal the two Infinity Stones away, though….”

“That may be better, as Thanos will eventually come for them,” Thor commented.

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Eris said.

They spent the rest of the night in somewhat companionable silence after Eris took the silencing spell off of Loki.

Eris had just come back from sealing the two Infinity Stones in a separate dimension, and then eating lunch, when she noticed Loki was stirring. She sat down next to him, and asked softly, “Loki?”

Loki opened his eyes, blinking a few times before asking, “Eris?”

“Hi,” Eris said, smiling.

Loki sat up, stretching. “How long was I out?” he asked.

“A little over twenty-four hours,” Eris said. “Asclepius said he did everything he could, but that you’re still slightly malnourished. He took the IV out this morning; you were dehydrated too.”

“I’m not surprised,” Loki sighed. “Is there food?”

“Sure… but you really need a shower first,” Eris said. “I’ll tell you the news after you get cleaned up; no offense, but you reek.”

Loki sighed and got up, and Eris showed him where the bathroom was. He went in, and closed the door. Eris settled down to wait. JARVIS informed her that Thor had been warned that Loki was up, but he had decided to play a wait and see game, apparently realizing that Loki was unlikely to be very happy with him. Eris was surprised; that was unusual for him.

Loki came out of the bathroom an hour later, dressed in black jeans and a green t-shirt. He pulled sneakers out of his subspace, and put them on before asking, “So what happened while I was sleeping?”

“Called in a favor from Zeus so he’d claim you as one of us,” Eris said. “Odin agreed to it- and earned himself life on the couch and likely a lot of pain in the process.”

Loki started laughing. “Serves him right,” he cackled. Sobering a bit, “I suppose he stripped me of my name and status?”

“Yes,” Eris said. “However, Zeus is willing to grant you full immortality, which would, as I’m sure you’re aware, make you far less vulnerable to injury, and you and I could spend longer together, if you want. It’s something to think about, especially since there is not a chance I can convince him to grant Thor full immortality.”

“Yes, I figured that,” Loki said dryly. “I doubt Thor would take it anyways, not from Zeus of all people.” He considered for a while, and then asked, “Is Zeus still here?”

“Yes, though Tony’s girlfriend Pepper is quite adept at keeping him away from Thor and vice versa,” Eris said, grinning. “I like her.”

Loki smiled. “I think I would appreciate it if Zeus was willing to make me a full immortal,” he said. “I would like spending more time with you, too, and your pantheon is far kinder to me than my former one.”

“Good,” Eris said happily. “Ready to go upstairs?”

“Yes,” Loki said.

Eris smiled, and they headed up, together.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
